Growth

“Being scared to death just means it’s something that I really need to do”

– Mary Marantz

Last week Mary Marantz made me stop in my tracks again. With her quite light-hearted but rather deep blog post (the quote above comes from that post).

And Jasmine Star made me think. Well, Jasmine has been making me think for the last few years I can say. With her raw honesty, pure professionalism and beautiful words. So here is this post of hers: Because You Can. Creatives, read it, I am sure it will resonate with you.

There is a gut feeling inside each and every one of us, and that gut feeling is the voice that is always right. Being wrapped in the state of always doing and pushing and going ahead and learning and shooting and bookkeeping and obsessing about site statistics silences that voice, which is a little bit scary. But then I realize – that gut feeling will not evaporate, the truth will stay inside of me and will continue to fire up my desire to create.  This truth is your core. Everything else has to be done over and over again, like pages turned in the book you are so eager to finish, but your passion for something you know you are here for will keep you grounded and will get you evolving. Pushing your limits. Even if you’d  rather crawl into a quiet corner and start sorting last month’s receipts vigorously.

When I decided to start taking a self-portrait a month and putting it on my blog for the world to see, it was 1) petrifying; 2) way too far outside my comfort zone; 3) something that I knew I had to do.  And doing this brings me right back where it all originated from – being an artist.

Here I am, in May 2012. In the whirlwind of everyday to-do lists my creative core is smiling.

(Some geeky info for photographers: shot on tripod mounted Canon 5D Mark II, 50mm 1.4 lens, F2.5 1/100 sec, ISO 200, off-camera flash into reflective umbrella to my right, wireless remote control and Cactus flash triggers)